After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
