I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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