I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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