I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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