New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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