i think my tv is drunk
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
