She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
