i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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