How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
