It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
