I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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