How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
