I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
