i don't like sucking hair
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
