Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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