Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
two words...techno handjob
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
