Swine flu. Run for my life!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
