Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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