I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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