At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
