And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
