I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That reminds me...we need to get swords
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
