apparently the secret to your success is patron
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
