i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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