just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is the high leading the old right now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
