It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My liver just broke up with me...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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