I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
