What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
ok first of all what the fuck
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