i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
