I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
