I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
