I have demons in me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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