DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
