remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
