I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Still dying that you shit outside
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
