I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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