Sponge bath it is.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lo siento on account of my penis...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
