So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
