Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
