it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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