Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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