Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
