actually, I'm a sock model
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
