I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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