My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
