actually, I'm a sock model
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
