so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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