But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
