and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
