Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
