How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
