And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
